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Living life without you
by shopahaulic456
written on November 02, 2009 6:45 PM
 (9 stars)
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You were taken away from me when I was only nine
Never did I expect you'd be out of my life
Now I'm stuck here thinking why'd it happen that day
When you left your daughter and just walked away
The days are dark and full of tearful sorry cries
Now I'm lonely and there is no more blue skies
Sitting here missing how you'd hold me that way
Having only a memory and skies that have faded to grey
No one tried to explain to me what was going on
They all acted like nothing was even going wrong
But I did I remember all of the pain I felt
The tears dripping down my face just like ice I did melt
Sometimes I stop and think as I look up at the sky
Saying damn you dad, I hate you and you deserve you die
You never were there for your daughter so I don't even care
But in my heart deep down I still wish that you were there
If I could know one thing I would wanna know why
Why'd you have to do that, why'd you say goodbye?
How come you were never there for me just like my mom said
How come you didn't care for me, and caused these tears I shed
Why'd you have to be so heartless when you left that day
When you left my life a part of me was taken away
I don't remember the exact day you left and I don't need to
Because I think about you all the time because I miss you
Every year we get out lights for Christmas I refuse to put up the star
Because that was what we would do, you'd pick me up in your arms
I'd reach and reach and finally I'd place it on the top of the tree
Then you'd smile, swing me around, and gently praise me
But now when it's Christmas time you're never there anymore
Instead of watching you open my gifts for you, I sit there torn
You can't enjoy the reaction on my face when I see mine and I'm shocked
Now instead I have to walk out the front door and open a heavy box
With a letter attached to it saying sorry I couldn't make it this year
Promise to hug and kiss the twins for me, I frown as I shed a tear
One day I know that again we will be soon together
And on that day there will be such bright and sunny weather
Us together daughter and father finally once again
And we can talk about how many damn months it's been
It's been so long since I have even talked to you
I wish somehow we could go for walks and fishing like we used to
How you'd give piggy back rides even when your back was sore
When you'd put me down you'd pick me back up when I would ask for more
You weren't even there for my sweet sixteen birthday party at all
And Dad I'm now five foot five, didn't really grow up too tall
A lot of people say I look just like you, which I don't really know how to take
Do I disagree and argue with them or kindly just say thanks
Because Dad you left me and you have yet to return
Sometimes I wish that you could just go to hell and burn
But deep inside I love you even though the pain's like being shot by a gun
At times I wish I could get away and from my problems I could run
I cry so much about you we don't have enough tissues
If I could tell you one it would be that I really miss you
Not too long ago I watched an old video of us two
Where you were messing with me and you could see I loved you
How when you came home I ran up to you with open arms wide
Yet you quickly walked by to your work and just pushed me aside
Few days ago I drove by your house just to see what had changed
Remembering times we had rode in my Barbie jeep and the games we played
I ran quickly down the street after only peeking in
I couldn't take it anymore, my tears wouldn't quit leaking
I was so young, why'd you have to go and leave me in this pain
It's like you're right next to me I can still hear your voice inside my brain
I try to keep it cool just play it off and act like nothing bothers me
But truth is I miss you so much because I'm living life without a Daddy



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siremo16: wow! really long! I know it must be hard growing up without a father,I'm sorry that it hurts you so, and when the day comes that you are reunited with him, I'm sure that he will see that he missed out on raising a very beautiful and talented daughter, God bless you always! (: Asa
on November 02, 2009 10:10 PM
suffer_in_silence: gosh that was long lol really well written though and very heartfelt <3
on November 02, 2009 7:46 PM


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