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my eating disorder
by tipsytwinckle
written on November 06, 2009 9:12 AM
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No purpose
All i wished is a long process of depression
heart thretening and insane
Tears,tears my fragile body cant express this pain

I look at this food; surprisingly the face of evil is tempting
But I allow myself to starve i.e self releiving
Because, yes. it feels so pleasing

its so sad it hurts so much but i cant get out
i call your name i scream and shout
wrap your arms around me, around all thats left
im sorry this is happening i know its such a mess

sit up after sit up, I run and i run
becuase i feel need to
i break down mentally and collaspe phsically
death roe is a border line, a price for what i want to be

Food- i dont touch, waste myself away
Your all going to have to watch
Because yes you should pay
its your turn to cry for me

fear the smell of food when near
dont breath the vile calorie packed tracks in
my mind deprived its you im needing
this self hatred is a hunger, one that im feeding

insomnia, this barely breathing body is awake
researching every detail to every food
antil my eyes close and not waking up is at stake
the enemy appears in my dreams,

Sweat and sweat, slither on hungry bones
you ruined my past in my own reflect
so im doing this physically
Because no body knows,

its been a hungry 14 hours
lifeless and still
i hear my stomach rumbles, im doing well mow
i decide to take another pill,
laxatives of course

in this secret toilet such a dark place
theres no end to this lonely space of which i hate
I need affection, someone anyone change my direction i cant carry on like this

i feel full, and full of panic
head down im ready now
i gag and i gag
antil i really dont breath
on this feeling
i teethe

20 minutes later il be done
dizzy but satisfied
my reflection, mouth sick smeared
what have i been doing? il tell another lie,

its the better secondss
everything re tasted in this perfect riddence
what goes down must come up
tense and abrupt

no future just a road
but i wont moan
maybe thats what i want
life or death? either way im still alone

i see the hidden food in my room rot
im finally doing something right
im hooked to this emptiness
tightly in a knot

prouder than ever
Tiny hands rare out of my skeleton legs
Mouths appear screaming from my transparent rib cage
My head tilts too heavy for my body to carry
My hair thin my eyes white, oh did i hear you say sorry ?

I grasp myself *relief* theres only bone
Theres only bone
I watch you cry as you look at me
my reality
well Look at me

Theres only bone.






Feedback
Read what other people have to say about this poem!

Quin05: Very strong my dear! Keep writing- your words may help someone or even yourself (if this is a personal poem). Expression can heal a lot of wounds! Control is a hard thing to let go of. Keep it up. :)
on November 06, 2009 1:56 PM
heytheresun: I hated it. hated it. hated it.
on October 16, 2009 10:43 PM
emo_punk_princess: wow, this is really good!
on October 08, 2009 12:05 PM
hushbaby93: That is so deep. It scared me. But I loved it. I felt as if I was experiencing it.
on January 18, 2009 10:17 AM
sad_and_lost: this really hits home with me! I love it!
on January 17, 2009 5:23 AM
TheatreLit: nice
on November 05, 2008 7:20 PM


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